Chapter 145: Ten

10 , a number which has tons of meaning for me alone . Well , personally , everything in my life surely have the number ten in it . Well , firstly , i was born on 10 of February 1993 and now , i'm currently living at the 10th floor but what makes this number even more special is that i found my one true love on the 10 of September 2009 . Well , is this mere coincidence you may ask but for me , it's just a little fate . When i asked her to be with me , i didn't know that the date was on 10 so it cannot be purposely . But whatever it is , the number 10 will always be a special number to me .

Well , speaking about my girl , i think i should tell more about her . Well , where should i start ? Well , Hidayah is just a perfect girl for me because she is everything a guy would ask for . She's sweet , caring , loving , funny sometimes , understanding , naughty , always noisy , gorgeous and she's understanding . She's my angel and i will not let any guy lay their hands on her . I will treasure every moment with her and put them all as memories . Even if time takes either on of us , our love will still go on . Every kiss and every hug will never be forgotten . My love towards her is just strong . I would be devastated is she would break my heart . But i will forgive her no matter what . She's just an angel to me . I love her so much .

Chapter 144: The Unsolved Puzzle

Well , my title is referring to a game that you need to put pieces together to figure out what the picture really is but for those who knows me very well , you should know that i'm lying . Puzzle is a great thing to represent me for who i am . My life and my personality is a mystery to others , even my parents . I am yet to show who i really am inside which i've been hiding for years . I dare not show it to anyone because i'm not that monster anymore . I've change into a human , a simple boy . It's because of this boy that made people see the happy me . It's because of this boy that makes people think i have a perfect life but do you guys think it's true ? Do i have a perfect life ? I don't think so because the last i check , nothing in life is perfect . The only think that is perfect is a perfect death . I may not show it to the world but i am really suffering inside . Trying to keep my feelings inside of me so that i will not be the beast i used to be . Emotion is a funny thing really . It sometimes show people who they really are but also sometimes , they are just the demon itself . I'm sorry if you guys aren't able to solve the puzzle of me . To tell you the truth , it's nearly impossible to pull it off .

Chapter 143: Seconds Before And After

Well , come to think about it , 2oo9 is ending soon . That's fast but what i know is that i enjoyed myself in 2oo9 . Most of the smiles appear when i'm with Blind Bandit . Hidayah comes next . Well , she came in second doesn't mean she always made me angry but Blind Bandit , i have been with them longer then with Hidayah so ... you guys should understand . 2oo9 will sure be a memorable year because i know who my true friends are , i found the girl that i love the most , i learn new things and i can finally taste how great life really is . Well , speaking about all of this really made me flash back about the past . Well , 2oo9 is about to end . Let's end it in a great way .

Chapter 142: Black Winter

Wake up you motherfuckers that are still sleeping there . You're burning daylight . Well , reason for being like this is because i'm still damn sleepy . Jamming session yesterday night and it was a blast . Except for Jesslyn that is . She had no mood play rock out , Maybe , she didn't switch on her rock button yesterday . Come on girl , rock ! Well , as for our guitar god Syed Shidiq , he was damn crazy yesterday . Maybe we should call him Crazy Boy . How's that ? Our original , The Blind Bandit was great , wait no , it was superb . No mistakes or anything . We also played our second original called either Blue Fire or Into The Blue Blaze and it was great . I love the breakdown part . We head bang like there's no tomorrow . Claps to Blind Bandit .

Next thing is the updates of my life . Well , how am i ? Well , the answer is really okay . There's no better word to answer that question . Relationship life ? Well , still going on with Nur Hidayah . I have to admit that we have arguments here and there but within one day , we can stop the arguments but when tomorrow came , another argument begin . But what the fuck , relationships are suppose to have arguments to make the bond between the couple stronger . So no matter what , i will always love Nur Hidayah .

Chapter 141: Beautiful Vs Gorgeous

Phew , what a tiring sleep . Wait , did i say a tiring sleep ? How could i be tired while i'm asleep ? Ok , now i'm just plain weird . Oh yeah , i've been checking out episodes of Gundam Seed now and they are freaking awesome . Even though , they are just an anime , their storyline is wicked .Well , i'm almost half-way into the season and so far , it hasn't disappoint me , well , i think i should put it as it will not disappoint me . You guys should also check it out . It has great action and some touching scenes . Some of the part could make your tears roll out of your eyes . I should say that the show isn't great , but it's a masterpiece . I admire the Japanese imagination . I should put it as they have a beautiful imagination . Their creativity are just magnificent . I respect them . After the episodes of Gundam Seed , i'm gonna check out Gundam Seed Destiny . It has a better storyline and this season will also not disappoint you . I could promise you to that . Well , i've got to go . Another episode is calling me . I promise i will update on myself next time .

Chapter 140: A Single Light

When hope seems to disappear and darkness seems to grow , it doesn't mean there's no light to shine . If a room is full of shadows and you can see nothing at all , trust me , there's always light . You can find light in the darkest caves . But the main point is , there's always a light in everybody . Even if you are giving up or losing hope , just think of the positives and never think of the negatives . Everything happened for a reason and if the thing has already happen , there's nothing we can do . We mustn't regret and we mustn't give up . Keep moving forward . Our life is just like our planet Earth . There are times when the Earth will be shine by the Sun and there are times when the Earth will face darkness . No matter how dark the situation is , there's always be a single light .

Chapter 139: 3 Months , But Are You Happy ?

Hi there , well , the only i'm like this is because i don't have a great sleep . Kept on waking up in the middle of the night with hardly no reason what so ever . Well , to tell you the truth , i'm really just worried about my girl . I'm worried about her happiness being with me . There's millions of question running through my head as we speak and most of them are yet to be answered . I admit to myself that i've made tons of mistakes to her and she has always been the one who need to bare the pain . I'm sorry . It has been 3 months this relationship has been going and i hope it will still goes on . I said that we will fight any problems that come in our way and i will still keep that promise deep in my heart . I will keep every promise i've made with her and i hope that i won't have to break any of them .

I want my girl to know that everybody makes mistakes . If they do not , that means they are so perfect but i strongly doubt that there anybody in this world is perfect . Even if they might appear perfect , there's a deep dark secret hiding behind their perfection . Everyone in this world have or have created problems and the only way to solve it is not to be angry with each other but to solve it together . I know it's easy to forgive but it's so hard to forget but try your best not to remember about the bad memories but instead we should think back about the good memories that we shared . Every smile and laughter we shared during those memories is the greatest cure to our broken heart .

It has been 3 months and what i think of my girl is that she is the girl that i was always looking for . I trust her with all my heart because i know that she won't lie to me but if she do , i will be heartbroken but i am also confident that she won't . She is everything i wanted in a girl . She's sweet , caring , loving , funny , energetic , fun and most importantly understanding . We shared a lot of great memories together , disturb each other with pranks and stuff and that's what make our relationship one of the noisiest ever . I said it once and i'll say it again . I see her grow from a girl that complains about house chores into the greatest girl i have ever been with . I keep on saying that simply because it's true . I love her so much .

Next , i need to apologize to her for every mistakes i've made in the past . I promise i will not do that ever again . I will learn from my mistakes and will never ever repeat them . Sometimes when i made these mistakes , i regretted making them and i just wish i could return to the past and avoid myself making these mistakes . But the past is the past and we need to learn from it to be a better person . Once again , i'm sorry .

P.S: I love you so much ! I miss you so much . Happy 3 months anniversary . And i'm sorry . You will always be in my heart . *Kisses and Hugs*

Chapter 138: Mood Swing

It has been like what ? More then a month but yet , i'm still waiting . I don't why am i suddenly suffering from mood swing . It feels weird you know . Getting angry without reasons feels so damn weird . Well , this mood swing stuff is pretty serious to me though . I'm just afraid it will get worst . Well , i heard that Shidiq came up with another original while i'm yet to finish learning the second one but what the hack , just go with the flow i guess . Oh yeah , this is my new look . Hope you guys like it .

Chapter 137: Weirdness Is The Sign That You Are Happy

Updated at last ! It's been awhile since i updated anything and when i mean awhile , i didn't update for a few days only . Okay , now i'm just being weird . Well , speaking of weird , it's great to be weird you know . Especially if you are acting weird and all . My terms of weird is not the mysterious weird but it's the weird that whatever we are doing , people will laugh at it . Being weird is how i cheer people up sometimes .

If you guys want to know about why i'm writing about weird , trust me when i say that i also have no god damn idea . It just came to my mind about writing it today .

Well , oh yeah . There's something really funny i want to talk about . There was one moment where i want give up on my life because of some reasons but then when i heard that it was all a prank , i jumped and scream for joy . Give up on life does not mean i want commit suicide for your info , it's just i'm so confuse about what i should do . It is really funny . I think you guys would laugh when you guys saw it with your own eyes . Maybe telling you by writing here isn't the best way to show you how funny it really was but when i heard the news , i couldn't stop smiling .

Lastly , about my girl . I love her so much ! Yesterday night , we had our night conversation and we like finally have something to talk about . I can't tell you what we talked about because it's private . Those who really want to know , i got something to tell you ; Get a life you fucking moron !
I'm so missing my girl now and how i wish she is beside me now because i want to hug her tightly till she can't breathe and i wish i could give her a simple kiss . I feel like screaming to the top of my lungs about how much i love her . She is just the greatest girl i ever been with and losing her isn't an option . If i could rank her among my other ex's , she will be on the top because that's where she deserve to be but the only place that will always be is in my heart .

Chapter 136: Till The Last Leaf Falls

Yesterday was a superb day . Me , Jesslyn and my girl went out together and we really enjoyed ourselves . We had a lot of laughs and i can see that all of us had great moments there . Actually , there ain't much to talk about . It's just a simple day out where we exposed our craziness to Singapore and we actually make a fool out of ourselves . We also took photos but mostly they are pictures of me and my girl .

Chapter 135: Who Will Write My Last Chapter ?

Well , come to think of it , who will write my last chapter ? Who will know about my final moments in life and what are my final thoughts ? If i could talk to an angel , i will tell her to write it . But now , the only person i could think of is my own angel . She is the closest to me now and i have the feeling that i will spend my final moments in her arms . But who will take care of her and the rest of my love ones ? Will they move on without me ? Will my girl move on without me ? Questions are running through my head and they are yet to be answered . Maybe this is what i've been stress about for this while . Why am i suddenly talking in this emo way ? Well , it's simply because i came to the thought that everyone will have to go someday . If i could choose a place to die , it will be in my girl's arms because that is where my heart truly belong . It's not wrong to be emo in some moments . Everybody have their emo moments . We are humans and emotional is what we have when we first cried out our first tears . So if anyone out there says my post is so emo , i don't a shit really . Even a guy will have his soft moments . But i still can't answer my question because i will let the future answer it . That is my choice .

Chapter 134: Everything Out

It's still on my finger ! *claps*

Well , today i woke up damn early . I think i came back to life around 6.30 pm . Wow , that is early . I couldn't really sleep again even if my eyes are damn heavy now . But it is ok . I always have my loud music to keep me awake . So far , nothing really special in my life have recently happen . Yes , it's true , my life is pretty normal these days and if this goes on , only god knows what will happen . Please someone , anyone , please do something special to me .

Well , the only person that did anything special for me even if she didn't really do it is of course my girl . She is the most special person in my life and i hope i wouldn't have to let her go . I promise her that i won't let her go without saying goodbye and i will never say it . She is like everything to me . She is my life , my soul , my spirit and my heart . Losing her will be like judgement day to me . Even if she broke my heart once , i still love her . I still trust her . I believe that she won't repeat the same mistake again . She promised and i trust her with all my heart . I just hope she won't make me lose my trust . My girl has always been the pillar that supports me in my times of need . She has always been by my side supporting me and helping me to get back on my feet when i fall . She is the most special person in my life . I love her more then anything in this world . I love her so much . I always have .