Hey guys . This will be my final chapter to my entire life . I never I would be the one writing it but yeah . Firstly to all of my friends on the net , you guys are the best , you guys are awesome and just fantastic , this has nothing to do with you guys but I need to do this , it's the only way life would be better . I finally realize that I have to fight life all alone . You guys have always been there for me and without fail , cheering me up . You guys rocks . Love all of you ! But this is goodbye .
To my band , you guys will get to see me a lot and let's hurry make the greatest show ever . I know I'm em and stuff guys but life seem too big for me . You guys rock to the core and Bandits live forever . You guys know how to contact me right ? Just contact by calling me . Hurry jamming guys .
To my classmates , you guys will surely see me a lot but only until the end of the course , after that I will sign on and live my life with nature , being where I'm suppose to be . You guys are the best also and Qv1001M will be always in my heart . <3
To my Bestie , I will not be in the cyberworld anymore but you know how to contact me right ? You should know . ^^ Bestie , you rock always . ^^
To Fatin , I'm sorry for everything . I still love you but I couldn't afford to see you hurt . I know when you read this I'll be long gone . Just have a happy life okay ? I'm sorry I can't be there for you like how you've always been there for me and I'm sure I'm gonna miss you . Remember when I said about a letter , in that letter I wrote this that I really want you to read; 'Fatin Nur Hanis , will you marry me ?' . I want you to be the one . Remember , I will always love you .
So yeah , that's about it , I'm surely gonna miss everything here . Ohya , guys and girls remember , 'Before you quit , try.' and Never give up . <3
Chapter 174: Jealousy
Yeah , I'm jealous . Of ? Others' life they can yay here and there while I'm stuck I'm the stupid world of misery . Fuck you problems ! Yeah , I know problems come constantly but why can't I solve it constantly also ? People will say; "It will take time ," yeah , I know but what if there's no time left ? I can barely smile today . I've been going to the toilet crying my heart out , starring at empty spaces just thinking of how to overcome my situations , etc .
I am grateful that I even have a life but I just need to solve it . Honestly , in my mind right now , I don't mind my life ending here now but I know there's more to life than just these problems . I'm sorry guys , you know who you are , that I shown a distracted face just now . I guess no smile will appear of my face for quite sometime now .
Chapter 173: Just A Little Hope
Surprise to see me blogging ? Well , hope you guys are . Well , since I told my love ones that I will disappear in the cyber world 'till further notice , I decided to let this particular site tell me about my life while I'm gone . Well , it's the start of a new year yesterday and what a way to start it . Keep moving forward people say but yet , I still finds myself rooted to the ground not going anywhere .
I cried every night telling myself why I have to suffer this way without my love ones knowing it . Then I thought , it's better that way . I wouldn't want them to worry but I guess they are already worried when I told them that I want to disappear . There's only one person in this world whom I dare to share my problems with and she has been my bestfriend for over a year . So I feel comfortable talking to her but there's only one tiny problem , it's over a month since I heard from her . Wondering how is she doing .
People must be wondering about my problem so I'm gonna reveal it here . My problem is that I just can't accept time has moved . I'm still rooted down to my childhood days . Summaries it all , I'm simply a guy who just don't want to grow up . The reason is simply that I fear losing the people I love the most . I pray every night that I hope my love ones will wake up the next day and see the sun rise . I imagined losing everyone I love and seeing myself living in this world alone . I know all of this is life but I guess I just can't accept the way life is . The older I get , the more things I have to leave behind , but I really don't want that . I want to live by their side telling them I love them and thank them for being by my side always but I know that's impossible .
Well , I just need to talk to her and see what advise she gives me . All I need is just a little hope .
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