Chapter 114: A Fucking Lie Of Forgiveness

I didn't forgive him . Even if the words of forgiving ran out of my lips , i had my fingers crossed all the way . I just say that i'm giving him another chance is just because that is what my girls would want to hear me say . To summarize everything , i lied . So ? I don't give a fuck . I am so damn disappointed . I am doing what is right . Even my friend that heard about this problem agreed that he is so damn guilty . I am disappointed with my girl the most . She would listen to the guy but not me . She never listened to me . If i forced her , all she will do is complain . Fuck this shit . How am i suppose to trust her if she don't even trust me ? Fairness is what she want but is she giving me my fairness ? Trust , the word which i said is the true meaning of love but we are lack with trust . She got angry with me when i didn't give the guy another chance but she reacted differently when i told her that the guy use a fucking vulgar word about my own mother . What the fuck is this . Fuck that 20 years old piece of shit . I will never give him another chance and i never want this situation to end how they think it has end . This fucking war is still on and i will make sure i'll gain victory .

The only think i can't believe is that my girl fell for a typical malay guy's lies . How silly is she ? What i know is i fell in love with a perfect girl not with a girl that does not even defend her own guy . All the fucking laughter and happiness you guys heard back then was a fucking lie and trust me , i'm good at lying . There is no more of those in me . All i have is a fucking beast inside of me waiting for the moment to devour the fucking idiot's flesh . I don't give a fuck . There won't be an Angel in me anymore . You have tested my patients and you have crosses the fucking line . All the kisses and love i gave you yesterday after i read that fucking message was a lie . It is so hard for me to change my feelings and it only takes tons of pain to trigger the bomb .

She said it's isn't fair because i could make friends with girls but she cannot make friends with guys . That's not true . My friends just talk to me respecting our relationship with my girl but her so-called "friend" have no fucking respect with our relationship . "Sayang" ? How long have you guys known each other ? It's only for one day . He is flirting and she just don't see that . Now i'm beginning to wonder who is the blind one around here . Don't blame me if i call Jesslyn "sayang" because i call almost everyone "sayang" .

Fuck ! I can't stop thinking about when we are in the movies . When the guy message her that he wants to break my face , she acted as if she got a normal message from her other friends . She didn't even act . Fuck this shit ! She don't even care about me . I won't forgive him and i never will and there is nothing anyone can do to make me change my mind . I'm gonna live this life with lies and i don't give a fuck . For the people who know me for a long time now , i never before got this angry and this is the first time . Believe me when i say this situation made me angry more then the situation when Shidiq and the others blame me for stealing Nunu from Wan because this fucking situation involve my girl . I didn't forgive him . I didn't give him a 4th chance . I don't give a fuck about his age . I will make sure his head will meet his own ass soon enough .

I Don't Give A Fuck !

I Won't Give Him Another Chance !

I Won't Forgive Him !

Fuck This Shit !

Chapter 113: Give Me The Worst Vulgar Word For My Title

Well , so long since i've updated anything . Had a great time jamming till late at night and i've kinda mastered three songs . Our original , The Antidote and Given Up . *Claps*

Well , even many things have happened in my life that made me happy , why am i still feeling the fires of hatred in me ? Is there something bothering me ? Fuck , i just wish i knew the answer . But somehow , jokes makes me feel better and laughing is the temporary cure for this illness but metal is always the antidote .

But yet , this puzzle of problem is yet to complete . I'm still feel that there's something else i have yet to mention . Something important which have to be one of the biggest problem in my life but what is it ? It's not my close friends or my girl .

This is the most confusing chapter i ever wrote and it's good because people won't even have a god damn idea who am i writing about . If they think that i'm writing about them , let them have their way because i'm tired of telling them that i'm not referring to them .

Just fuck off about the old life and begin a new one . Following life to where it's taking me and that is what i'll do . Follow .

Chapter 112: Break Away

Count down begins and the energy level of excitement is just increasing . Jamming sessions has began and practice is all i can do . Well , i learnt three songs yesterday night . Given Up by Linkin Park , The Antidote by Story of the Year and Face The Music by Blind Bandit . I didn't master it but gonna practice and practice until 21st of November . I also found a job and i'm gonna use it to buy the bass my friends offer . Once i get it , i will never let it go . Gonna sleep with it and i'm gonna make it my second girlfriend . All i'm waiting now is for the job to start .

Chapter 111: The White Eye

An unlikely illness has came for months now and yesterday was the first time i told anyone about it . My girl is the only who knows my secret and i would try to make it that way . I have no freaking idea why is this happening . Now i can't even see what's in front of me . All i could see is a blur image but i can't tell who is that standing in front . I have the feeling that i'll be blind in the days to come . I can't even see what is standing one arm length away from me . Well , if this is what that is suppose to happen to me , so let it be . As i said to someone close before ; "i will follow where life will take me ."

So i will let life bring me anywhere it want .

Chapter 110: The Day Of Her Dreams

Happiness still setting in me and i can't stop but to wonder why her parents invited me to play bowling with the other of her relatives . On the 181oo9 , i had one of the greatest day of my life . I followed her relatives to play bowling . It was my first time playing bowling and i kinda suck in it . Well , you know what they say , practice makes perfect . Now i have a little bit of experience on how to play bowling and i think i would like to invite my family to play bowling together . In the past , i only watch how people play bowling but now , i could be the one playing it . On the 181oo9 , i felt closer to her family but i wouldn't want to count myself as part of them yet because for me , i'm still a stranger to them . All i need to do is to continue my own life as per normal and see where the future will lead me . Here are some photos of us together after 1 month of being with each other .

Chapter 109: Time Limit

It has been centuries since i've posts anything . Been busy lately and it's either with friends or my girl . I'm gonna be out of Singapore for three days . I'll be returning on Sunday but i won't go home straight because i need to go bowling with my girl's relatives . Can't wait for that . One really surprise me though , this is the first time i'll be going out with another person's relatives . This is sure something new for me and i'm so damn nervous . Also , i'm damn stress because i can't practice my bass because my god damn guitar is under maintenance . All i got to do now is to work and gain that money and i'll buy the bass that i've been offered . Time isn't really on my side now .

Chapter 108: It's Not Really Goodbye

I've completed my 'N' level . Finally ! The end of my secondary life and the start of a new beginning . I'm gonna miss all the memories in that school and surely everyone , all that i hate and love . All the blood shed , laughs and jokes that were made with my peeps will all be remembered but Blind Bandit will always be one . Gonna concentrate on my bass and spend time with my friends and girl . The thing that i will miss the most is when we made the teachers angry . That will be the greatest memory ever . One last thing , Yuhua , i'll be returning on the 21 of November because i got a carnival to perform .

Chapter 107: Dried Instantly

Heroes were born from nothing into something , but are there really heroes that answer our cries ? I doubt it . Only ourselves can answer our cries . Life is full of problems and you may think that the only way to stop it is to die . But what will you do if you were given one more day to live ? Will you use that chance to change everything you've done to make your life better ? Answer that question and plan your next move .