Chapter 165: Our Hearts Has Been Misguided

Wow , what i freaking day . Suddenly i feel like 'BOOM' ! The big bang . Well , i have been asking fucking questions in my fucking brain every fucking minute . By the way , pardon my French . Questions like ? Hmm ... What's my destiny ? Is my heart really have been misguided ? Bla bla bla ... Well , there's this motherfucking idea in my mind that i'm gonna throw someone inside the fucking sea at Sentosa . 'SPLASH' ! Yup , going to Sentosa with my buddies tomorrow and confirm gonna enjoy . Actually , i was planning to invite Bestie , but she wasn't online today , i guess i'll meet her another time . Maybe during our special picnic .

Strictly For Esfan and Fee Only !

Chapter 164: Face First

Bass master ! Nope , of course not me but that's what i wanna be . Mastering every skill that ever existed and create my own . Well , the songs that i already know how to play are ; Given Up by Linkin Park , Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin , The Seduction by He is Legend , The Antidote , Terrified , We Don't Care Anymore , Until The Day I Die , And The Hero Will Drown , all by Story of the Year , I'm made of wax , larry , what are you made off ? by A Day To Remember and loads more . Blind Bandit rocks !!

Chapter 163: Story

Well , it's night time here and yet i'm writing another post . Well , this is a life of guy who wants to be an author when he grows up .

Well , that's what i really wanted to be but after walking miles along the path of life , i see that we can be whatever we want but the only that's pulling us behind is us . I know for some , life hasn't been a fairytale with "and they happily ever after" in the end but now , i'm telling you this ; this is your story . You are the author of your own story . No-one can write it for you . Not your friends , family , boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone else can write your story . This is your journey . Don't care what others think only care about life . Life is short so spend it wisely . Spend your life believing in the things you think that is right and never regret any decision that you've made . Friends , family , boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone else are only guidelines or a piece of wood to complete the broken bridge to help you get to the other side . Hold the hands of the person that you treasure the most and never let them go , not even until you pass the walls of death because their hands are the ones that pull you up . You've begin your story , how are you gonna end it ?

Chapter 162: It's Hard Isn't It ?

Well , to my dear friend Jess , sorry to hear about your grandfather . I hope this won't pull you down for your upcoming O' levels and of course the BLB spirit . Stay strong . =)

Well , yeah , it's hard to see the person you love the most just disappear out of our lives just like that . I've lost a lot of my dearest before and the pain never gets old . The pain of losing someone will scar us but the memories will always be there to heal it . Memories of the time you have fun , laugh , joke , hug and kiss . The person maybe physically gone but the person will always live on in our life , in our hearts .

''Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

Chapter 161: Clear

It's hard to tell a certain someone that you really love that person . It's really hard . It's hard to find the person that is suitable for you but i think i found mine . I found her months ago . Well , not to make it so obvious , i will say no more .
I made a promise to her that i'll always be the pillar that will support her in every way possible . I told her that if she let go of the hook , i will be there to catch her hands and hold them tightly , not letting it go . I promise her to always be in her heart and she will always be in mine . Who is she ? Well , she's my dearest bestie , Fee .

Chapter 160: I Need A Miracle

Sorry for my disappearance . I know that my magic trick are lame and all but i'm trying my very best to online . Well , here's a quick update on myself . Lately , i've been quite emo . Emotions are like playing with me once again and i'm starting to give up . Suddenly , i see that everything in this world seems meaningless to me . Yeah , i know that i'm very emo now but i can't help it . I feel like slapping myself billions of times until i get my mind straight .

Ever since my last chat with Bestie , life hasn't been sunshine and rainbows . I really need her here . If only she could hear my cries , pleading . I know for some , she's only a bestie for my but she's really more special than any of you could imagine . She's always there for me eventhough we hadn't chatted for a long time . I do believe in miracles . Even if time hasn't permit us to talk to each other , i still believe that somehow someday , we are gonna talk once again . I confident with it .

Chapter 159: Stop Working You Motherfucking Brain !

I hate my brain so~ fucking much . It's working not in the way it suppose to be . Flash backs are all entering back into my thick skull . Things that i want to forget kept on coming back and the things that i want to think about never did come back . What is this shit ?! The worst part is , i kept on thinking back on the things that hurt me so fucking much . School is about to begin once more and this fucking shit is happening . Just stop working you motherfucking brain . This thing is really putting too much tension on me now . Now , i cannot be normal anymore . I'm like a crazy motherfucking guy who wants to take a motherfucking knife and cut this brain out . I never wanted this , i never wanted any of this . All i want is to live how i'm suppose to live . This is ignorance . What the fuck !

Chapter 158: All We Need Is A Reason

Well , let's start with a hello . Hello . Well , the weekends have been tiring for me really . Went here and there like mad but it's also fun and great . Life ? It's been magnificent . Enjoying life . Well , of course , there ups and downs but now , the battle against life , it seems like i'm winning .

Yeah , my title , it's from the lyrics 'The Antidote' and it's a very powerful phrase . Everything we did , all of them have a reason .

It's gonna be a short chapter today because my mood suddenly disappears .

Chapter 157: Verge Of Rebirth

Time flies fast doesn't it . Yeah , it feels like only yesterday we learned how to walk and now you know it , you are already running . Even with a great past , i still feel like a kid . A little boy that doesn't want to grow up . A little boy that still wants a nice warm hug from his mummy . From my point of view , being a kid is the great blessing in life . Once we are old and matured , we won't see the fun side of life . We will only see the boring , dull and busy side of life .

But above all of that , life is still the best thing you'll ever get . Even if life is a cruel and nasty place , it's the only thing that releases the strong side of you , the strength to overcome every obstacle life has to offer . The strength of smiling even when you're facing your darkest problems . The strength of never giving up when you see the problem is impossible to overcome .

Well , i'm gonna be gone for three days . I'm off to Sepang to catch F1 race . Gonna hear the loud roar of the engine . Can't wait . Since i got the DSLR camera back , gonna snap awesome pictures . KL , Sepang , here i come .

Chapter 156: Your Tears Are My Tears And You Smiles Are My Smiles

Feelings , it's always had been a funny and unpredictable thing from the start . It's either the feeling of happiness or sorrow , that have kept us being who we are . Well , i'm writing this post to the person that has been in my life for almost 8 months now and i want to tell her that she is the greatest friend i could ever ask for . Yes , i'm referring to my dearest bestie . Somehow , i know this may sound crazy , i can sometimes feel her feelings deep in my heart . Eventhough in her blog she may seems a type of happy-go-lucky girl , i got the feeling that there's a dark secret behind her smile . I'm not here to tell you guys about what her problem is but to tell you guys how strong she is . She is the strongest girl that i've ever seen . She has the strength to smile eventhough she have problems . I don't know how deep and dark her problems are but i know no matter how deep and dark they are , she still has the strength to smile . I really admire her . Her name will forever be carve on my heart and can never be replace by anyone . She is really the greatest .